Not Tonight
by CurledRibbons
Summary: Tonight, Blaine told himself. Tonight he would do it. (Based on spoilers for 4x04)


**A/N:** Hello fanfiction world! I haven't written in a while – mostly due to working at a camp all summer, personal issues and just not really having an inspiration. I'm sad to say that for now, I'm abandoning the multi-chapter fic that's on my account. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to that one.

Anyways, this is inspired by the dreaded 4x04. They released one of the little filming things today and I just had to write about this. As usual, in Blaine's pov.

Ending with fluff, hopefully?

And yes, I don't own Glee.

…

Blaine doesn't know what possessed him to do this, but he's here, outside of Kurt's New York apartment, about to knock. Things just haven't been good lately and Blaine can't take much more of it. He has to break up with Kurt. It's going to be the hardest thing he'll ever do, but it's the best for both of them. He raises his hand, knocks on the cold metal and starts to fidget with the strap of his messenger bag. The door slides open a second later and Blaine looks up to see Rachel's surprised face.

"Hi," he says sheepishly. "Sorry to barge in, I just –" He's cut off as Rachel envelops him in a huge hug, rambling about how excited Kurt will be. He misses most of it, but follows her into the apartment. It's nice really – with exposed brick, but a surprising lack of furniture.

"Kurt's in the shower, he should be out in a second," Rachel starts up again, after she's grabbed his messenger bag and small suitcase. "Can I get you anything to drink?" He nods and she fills a glass with cold water. Blaine's grateful for it. The chill of the water going down his throat grounds him. "So, how's McKinley and New Directions? Tell me all the gossip." Blaine bites his lip, trying to think of something that will satisfy her and get her talking. He needs something to distract him.

"Um…I'm the new main soloist?" He says, in a soft voice. It was obviously the right thing to say, as she goes off on another rant about how she's so proud of him, but that he has a lot to live up to. In this moment, Blaine is glad that Rachel talks like she does. He doesn't want to think about what he has to do. He continues to sip at the water and nods as she talks about the duties of a soloist. Midway through a sentence, however, she is cut off by a voice yelling –

"Talking to yourself really isn't good for your sanity, Rach!" Blaine knows that voice – Kurt. Rachel raises her eyebrows and winks at him.

"But I'm not alone Kurt! Come out and see who came to visit us." Blaine takes a deep breath, because this is the moment he's been dreading. Seeing Kurt and knowing what he's going to do tonight. He's planning to end it tonight. Get it done with and head back to Ohio as soon as possible. He hears Kurt's footsteps and turns around, knowing that this may well be the last time Kurt looks at him with love.

He looks at Kurt, forcing a small smile. "Hey," he says softly. Blaine now notices that Rachel has left the area.

Time seems to stop when Blaine looks at Kurt. Kurt looks beautiful as always, with his wet hair flopping in his face. His eyes and mouth are wide open in surprise, like he can't believe that Blaine is actually here. He's only dressed in sweatpants that are a bit too short and look strangely like the ones that went missing from Blaine's closet a few weeks ago and a sweatshirt that falls off his shoulders. Kurt looks beautifully messy, the way Blaine loves him to look.

Time starts again as Kurt crosses the room and Blaine stands up, the two collapsing into each others arms.

"I can't believe you're here," Kurt mumbles into his shoulder. "I've missed you so much." Blaine resists the urge to scoff at that because honestly if Kurt missed him so much, he would've taken the two seconds to help Blaine pick out an outfit or to pick up his phone when Blaine won class president. Blaine is bitter but he knows that Kurt's been busy and it's neither of their faults that the inevitable is going to happen.

"I missed you too," he mumbles back. Kurt pulls back from the hug and just looks at Blaine.

"You look amazing…" Kurt trails off before pressing his lips to Blaine's. Blaine can't help but think that this is what he missed. He melts into the kiss, almost forgetting why he came here. Almost.

Because Kurt's phone rings, blaring out "You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile" from _Annie. _Kurt breaks away from the kiss and licks his lips, looking apologetic. "It's my boss…um…you can get unpacked, shower if you need to…I'll try and make this as short as possible." Kurt kisses Blaine quickly one more time before picking up his phone and striking up a conversation with his boss.

Blaine sighs and grabs his things, leaving his suitcase by Kurt's bed, before heading into the shower. He decides, on impulse, to only use Kurt's products. This might be, after all, the last time he gets to smell them.

Blaine takes a while to shower, hoping that Kurt will be done by the time he comes out. While in the shower, Blaine mulls over what he's going to do. As much as he loves Kurt (and really, he does), it's for the best that he ends this now, instead of letting their relationship fall apart into nothing. He doesn't want to be in Ohio, constantly bitter over a boyfriend who can't bother to find out what's going on in his life. At least after he does this, Blaine can be in Ohio and just be sad over his ex. Because it's for the best. For both of them. Kurt will be able to find some new New York guy and Blaine…well…he'll deal. Blaine finishes up showering and steps out, taking his hair brush and brushing through his wild mane. He styles it like he did at Dalton, with a few waves in the front, before putting on a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. Blaine hopes that Kurt doesn't want to go out tonight.

When he leaves the bathroom, Kurt is still on the phone, laughing with his boss. Luckily, it's only a minute or two before Kurt is done. Kurt enters his room and joins Blaine on the bed.

"Sorry about that…she needed some advice on something to send to Anna." Blaine nods, pretending like it doesn't affect him. Kurt nuzzles into him, just like they used to in Kurt's room in Ohio after especially hard school days. "So, tell me about what's going on in Ohio."

"Um…not much…I joined a bunch of clubs…and I'm class president…" Blaine trails off, not wanting to brag about himself too much.

"What?! That's amazing honey!" Kurt kisses him enthusiastically, short and sweet. But then, his face turns into one of confusion. "But I thought results would be announced on Monday…?"

"Um…they counted them earlier and we found out yesterday."

"Oh my god, is that why you were calling me?! I am so so sorry Blaine. I marked it on my calendar for Monday and I was in a meeting and I forgot to call you after…I am the world's worst boyfriend."

"No, no…" Blaine assures him, "You're not." He has to be careful what he says because he doesn't trust his own voice. But knowing that Kurt had just forgotten makes it a bit better. But, his mind rationalizes; he still has to break up with him. The forgetfulness is going to start happening on both ends and it's going to make everything messier.

"Let me make it up to you, Mr. President." Kurt winks at him and leans up to capture his lips in a kiss.

…

As they lie in bed that night, curled together, Blaine feels Kurt's short breaths on his skin. Not tonight, he thinks, tomorrow.

…

The next day, Blaine wakes up to an empty bed. For a moment, he thinks that Kurt has gone to work, until he hears humming in the kitchen. He knows right away that it's Kurt's. Blaine stretches and pushes the blankets off of him, before leaning down to retrieve his sweatpants. Those are all he pulls on before he pads into the kitchen, watching Kurt move around, making breakfast.

"Hey!" Kurt smiles at him, placing a plate on the small table. "I made us breakfast – I hope eggs and bacon is okay."

"Perfect," Blaine replies, smiling at him and sitting down at the small table. Then it hits him: he's actually going to break up with Kurt today. It's going to be today he tells himself. You have to do it before you get too attached. His smile drops, but Blaine fakes it pretty quickly again. He wants to savor every last minute with Kurt.

They spend the rest of the day in bed, rediscovering each other's bodies. Blaine keeps putting it off – tonight, he tells himself.

…

That night they go to a piano bar called "Callback." It's fitting, as it is NYADA's main hangout. It's not only Kurt and Blaine. Rachel and a kid named Brody tag along and surprisingly, Finn, who is not in the army anymore. Blaine doesn't bother asking why – Finn's going to hate him pretty soon.

Kurt encourages him to go up and blow away the NYADA students who think that they're the best. After a bit of prodding, Blaine does. He steps up to the piano.

"Um…I'm gonna sing an acoustic version of 'Teenage Dream.' Kurt, this is for you." Blaine swallows the knot forming in his throat and starts to sing along as he plays the piano. He can't control his emotions and his voice breaks on a few notes. Blaine has to constantly blink to hold the tears back. This is _their_ song, the one they sing in the car when they hold hands. The one that they put on a playlist for each other before Kurt left for college. The one that holds so many memories for them. He finishes, barely blinking back tears. "Thank you," he whispers into the microphone, before going to sit down next to Kurt. The bar has exploded into applause, but all Blaine can see is Kurt's worried face.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Kurt offers. Blaine nods. It's time.

They're right near Battery Park, so they walk there and stroll down a path. "So, wanna tell me what's going on?" Kurt asks. "You've been acting weird since you got here."

Blaine clenches his jaw and swallows. He stops walking and faces Kurt It's now or never. "Kurt. I'm breaking up with you." His voice cracks on the last two words and tears start to fill his eyes.

"What?! You're kidding right? After everything we've been through?"

"I'm sorry," Blaine chokes out.

Kurt just stares at him and walks away. And that might be the worst scenario that Blaine could have imagined. The lack of emotions. He was expecting anger, crying, begging, anything but what had happened.

Did Kurt not care? Did he just accept it as fact? He didn't even try to fight back. Blaine could barely see as his eyes filled with tears. He didn't even try to change my mind. Blaine collapsed onto a park bench, letting the tears finally fall.

He stayed there for a while, crying, but then realized how late it was. It wasn't okay for him to be out in New York City that late. He checked his phone and saw no messages.

Kurt didn't even care if he was out at night alone in New York City. Blaine wiped away a stray tear and walked over to the street, hailing a cab. He had no place to go but Kurt's apartment. Great planning, right? He gave the cabbie the address and tried to control his emotions as he got closer and closer to the apartment. The cab pulled up in front of the apartment and Blaine paid him quickly, stepping out of the cab and into the building.

He walked up the stairs, trying to take as much time as possible before knocking on the door. Of course, Kurt slid it open.

Kurt's eyes were red, like he had been crying. Kurt took one look at him and turned around, leaving the door open for Blaine to come in.

Blaine felt like he should fill the silence with something. Kurt just looked at him. "I…" he tried to start. But, the tears Blaine had desperately tried to stop started to slip down his face. "Why aren't upset?!" Blaine yelled, the emotions overwhelming him. "Do you not care about our relationship?! Are you really going to let go!?"

"Says the boy who just broke my heart!" Kurt screamed back, looking surprised that he had let himself go. "Why…" he whispered.

Blaine's heart broke. Was this really for the best? He cleared his throat. "It's for the best that it ends now."

"The best?" Kurt looked confused.

"We've been drifting apart and I thought it would be better if I ended it now before it gets too messy. I just…I thought it'd be better. You can go get some cool New York guy who can keep up with you, instead of just skyping with your dumb high school boyfriend who doing stupid things like running for class president." Blaine slid to the floor, overwhelmed by what he had just said.

"…I never thought you were dumb and doing stupid things," Kurt whispered. "I don't want some cool New York guy. I want you." He sat down, across from Blaine. "A break up isn't for the best. We…we just need to talk about it and figure things out and I'm sorry I've been talking about myself." Kurt rambled as usual. "I just got so excited that something was actually happening for me out here that I forgot that this is a two way relationship."

Blaine's tears fell silently now. He was so dumb. Of course this wasn't for the best. Kurt was right – they needed to talk. "I'm so sorry…forgive me?"

Kurt nodded. Blaine pursed his lips. "So will you stay with me?"

"That depends…am I still your boyfriend?" Blaine's kiss was all Kurt needed for his question to be answered.

…

That night, they laid in bed together, just talking about their lives. They exchanged short kisses as they both got caught up on what the other had been doing.

They fell asleep, exhausted, and woke up curled around each other. It was Sunday, so Blaine had to go home that afternoon. The early morning was spent making love and later, packing and figuring out how their relationship would work.

They decided to write weekly emails and letters as updates so that they would always know what was going on, even if one person, excited about what was going on, dominated their weekly skype date. They promised to always pick up each other's phone calls, no matter the situation.

Kurt and Blaine parted with one final kiss at the airport and promises of a reunion at Thanksgiving.

As Blaine flew back to Ohio, he could only think of one thing. I won't break up with him tonight. Not tonight and not ever.

….

**A/N**: That's it. It felt amazing to write and I'd love to hear your feedback. So, hit me up with a review or contact me at my tumblr: .com (or if you need to cry over 4x04 with someone after it happens. I love new friends to cry with! ;))

Thank you so much for reading.


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